.. if you know anyone who wants to book accommodation in west Wales, in a Blackpool styled B&B, masquerading as a country hotel, then let me know!
... it seemed like such a good idea at the time.. close to the party, a nice 'Country House Hotel'.....I should have heard alarm bells when they read me my 'cancellation rights' when I booked the room for two nights, about a month back. The last of their 4 rooms was the 'Bridal Suite'... ahh, maybe THIS will be the stay we refer to as our (long overdue) honeymoon I thought... we've had a fair few trips out but always a few snatched days and no time to wallow.
Well, it all looked okay initially, we booked in quickly and set off to spend the evening with our friends., some of whom arrived after also booking in.. then the stories began ..... 'Fawlty Towers' it was being referred to, .....rules to 'book your breakfast the night before to avoid wastage',.... the request 'before getting into bed, please remove and fold bed cover, to avoid creasing'....sticky notices on every switch to 'turn off to save the environment'
Oh and as you sit on the toilet, the threat of being charged an extra nights stay for 'cleaning and fumigation' if you break the No Smoking rule, is just what I want to see!
Later on we made our way back, gave our order for breakfast and enquired for the time....'from 8.30' I was told... and it being our holiday and if we were on honeymoon, part of our first few days of married bliss, I asked 'until when?', only to be advised 'til 9am'.....'to avoid the staff hanging around waiting' .... I should have read the writing on their wall!
Half an hour later, the others had gone out, we laid on the bed, freezing cold, not speaking, shivering, not feeling very 'bridal suite' at all so we decided enough was enough and left. When Col explained we had been freezing cold and pointed out the heating was now off, our lady host said 'of course, it's 10am and a lovely sunny day! He pointed out that maybe, just maybe we'd have wanted to stay in our rooms (again the bridal suite gives you all the clues), and she replied 'as I said it's a lovely sunny day'
Well, another couple, (same age as us, and obviously old enough to know what you want from a hotel) also left and it all made for a lot of laughing that evening... oh and my favourite rule was 'in case of spillage, please notify as soon as possible to enable swift cleaning up... hey, I'm on my 'honeymoon' lady!!
Oh yes, and the jacuzzi bath.. 'I wouldn't use that tap, it just sends jets of boiling water at you', and if you think you are going to use the bubbles, it might affect the shower of the room next door. Needless to say, the 'facilities' were not utilised, I don't like a listening audience as I bath / spill something or enjoy my first night of 'marriage'
Anyways, alls well that ends well.. we found a lovely, slightly tired but very warm, friendly proper hotel near Aberystwyth and the two couples who stayed at Fawlty Towers had their radiators bled and the offer of an extra heater ... They did however have to reset the alarm which had been turned off during the first day , we guess to 'save the environment'
All we need to do now is get a refund of the second night's stay which they decided to take anyway, even after we explained why we were leaving.
So, the lovely Bedford couple who have probably overspent on their twee hotel and are trying to recoup the money by skrimping on not-wasted breakfast, frugle heating and persuading people not to stay in the hotel and use the facilities, would probably be better off heading for Blackpool to run a place where even the guests expect to be chucked out at 10am every day!
Fantastic blogging material.. only a matter of time before this makes TripAdvisor!